Rewatching Neighbours Episode #1 - The One Where It All Began

Air date (Aus): March 18, 1985

Air date (UK): October 27, 1986

Season: 1 (1985)

Notable: The start of everything!

Alright, here we go - it’s the very first episode of Neighbours.

Imagine settling down in 1985, ready to watch a new soap opera about a suburban street in Melbourne and you see…

Trees blowing in the wind. There’s an ominous score. Max Ramsay* stands in darkness and smoke. A red car’s headlights come on as the engine starts up. Danny Ramsay’s sweaty upper body appears against a black backdrop. Maria Ramsay exits the red car laughing. Cut back to sweaty Danny.

Now Julie and Paul Robinson step out of another car, laughing. Sweaty Danny. Helen Daniels and Scott Robinson - although it looks nothing like him - exit yet another car. They’re also laughing. More Danny.

Julie laughing. Danny. Helen laughing. Danny. Max smiling in a creepy way. Danny. The camera pans to show a laughing Max, a somewhat concerned Maria, then Helen, Scott, Julie and Paul - all laughing.

Danny stumbles over to Max who stops laughing and grabs him by the throat. Danny runs down the street, backlit by the car headlights, away from the others. He stops and looks up, calling ‘Shane’ as his speedo clad brother waves at him. Shane begins to dive, smoke coming off him, as Danny screams ‘SHANE, NO!’

And then sweaty Danny sits up in his bed.

It was all just a dream. One that sets a weird tone for the show, making it feel like the intro to a low budget horror movie.

Like I get starting with action. I get that they wanted to make an impression and to grab people’s attention. But it’s tonally at odds with the rest of the series. I half expected Danny’s head to start spinning around once he sat up.

For the rest of the episode - in fact probably for the first few - you’re maybe wondering if this is going to be a Shining or something and that Danny has some significance/gift [pretty sure neither is true]. Especially as the dream sequence is followed up with Danny visiting the doctor who asks him super probing questions about whether he gets headaches or has any worries [who doesn’t], does he get on with his family and how he finds school.

‘What about nightmares?’ says the doctor.

‘So that’s it. I thought this was just a checkup,’ replies Danny.

‘This is just a checkup and you’re a very healthy young fella but your father’s worried about those nightmares’.

‘He’s only worried because I yell a bit in my sleep and wake him up. Anyway they’re just dreams. Everyone dreams don’t they?’

‘Yes. Do you remember what they’re about?’

‘No. Sorry.’ [I’m not sure we believe you Danny.]

And then we see Danny riding his bike up Ramsay Street in scenes that will become part of the future opening credits and with some relief discover that the other neighbours do actually exist in the real world and not just in Danny’s laughing-gas infested dreams [maybe that was the smoke we saw].

From a few different conversations, we learn that Des Clarke is going to marry Lorraine Kingham the very next day. The Buck’s party is taking place today - because logically you’d want to make sure you were really hungover on your wedding day - and Shane Ramsay has booked the all important stripper.

Cut to an exterior shot of a house with blazing lights and blaring music, which is seemingly populated by the mannequin figures from Home Alone when Kevin tries to fake that there’s a party happening at his house.

Ah, but there really is a party going on here. Daphne - the stripper - is wearing her best lingerie but not doing a very good job of taking it off. The house is full of smoke [this is the 80s] and raucous men. Just in case the audience isn’t sure what is going on, the music is a classic striptease number.

Very different scenes over at Lorraine’s house where she and Julie have jumped into their pink twin beds in a very pink room with a cup of cocoa.

Julie delivers some excellent exposition by telling us that ‘Lorraine is his only daughter’ as we discover that Lorraine’s dad doesn’t like Des. I have to say that Lorraine is really very beautiful and Des is definitely punching.

Apparently, Des was going out with Julie once upon a time and despite the fact that Lorraine is due to marry him the next day, Julie helpfully reels off a list of reasons why he isn’t a catch including that:

• He isn’t a spunk

• He’s nice

• He’s ordinary

• He’s a bit set in his ways

• And weirdly, that he will be a great father but I presume that is meant to be a positive.

She then keeps going on and on about how much Lorraine must love Des in this annoying, overly sweet, manipulative tone. Honestly, it’s like some sort of verbal torture - I’m almost wondering if I really love my husband or if I should travel back in time five years and call it off. Thanks Julie.

We’re back with Danny who is having another very sweaty dream where Shane seems to be falling and blinded by flashing lights. Max decides the best way to help with the nightmare is to wake Danny up and tell him to shut up.

I’m sure that’s the problem solved and there’ll be no more nightmares. Thanks Max.

Max then starts complaining about the Buck’s party music, which has changed to something more appropriately 80s. He gets on the phone to Jim Robinson about it, who says he will handle it but does nothing.

Max's exclamation of, “What are you going to do about those bloody Neighbours of yours?” could be the tagline for the whole show.

Everyone in the Robinson household is sporting fetching dressing gowns.

On his way to deal with the noise, Max encounters a dog in the street that I’m pretty sure will never be seen again. He turns up as Daphne is leaving, seemingly because of the poor conduct of the party guests. She says she’s ‘not that kind of girl’ - maybe they asked her to take her clothes off because that’s what strippers do.

A drunk Paul, who is inexplicably dressed like a baby [I thought it was the groom who got forced into this kind of thing on stag nights?], is deposited at the Robinsons by Max and so ends our first day on Ramsay Street.

---

The next morning Max, Danny, and Scott are at the pool where Shane is getting ready to train. He turns up in speedos and a tracksuit jacket, which is a look that I never want to see repeated.

As Danny looks up at Shane on the diving board he has flashes of his dream, which causes him to yell out ‘be careful’. Max reacts in an overly aggressive way to this, which I really don’t understand.

Shane dives in and stays under the water for slightly too long while Danny watches worriedly so that we all think something bad has happened. But no, Shane is fine.

Des calls Paul at the Robinsons to tell him that Lorraine and her parents are coming over to talk to him, which they all agree is an odd thing to do on the morning of your wedding but don’t seem overly concerned about.

Daphne turns up at Des’ to look for a watch that ‘means everything’ to her while Des makes a poor attempt at tidying up.

Meanwhile, Julie has arrived home and gets grilled by the Robinsons until she cracks and says the wedding is off. Apparently, Lorraine woke her at midnight to say she wasn’t sure she really loved Des, Julie said that for her it was love or nothing, and Lorraine decided to call the wedding off.

Paul says Julie has ‘done it again’ which makes it sound like she regularly causes weddings to be cancelled, which if true you would think people would stop asking her to be bridesmaid.

Lorraine and her parents turn up at Des’ which looks dreadful, mostly because he didn’t take a moment to righten the furniture even though you’d think that would be the first thing you’d do.

She asks ‘what have you done to our home?’ which seems a bit cheeky given that she doesn’t live there, they’re not married yet, and she’s there to end things with him. Interior design should really be the bottom of her priority list.

Mr Kingham informs Des that the wedding is off as Daphne appears from the bedroom saying that she found her watch. But what’s this - she and Mr Kingham recognise each other!!! How juicy. Maybe.

Des looks confused and then settles for a goofy grin despite having just been told his fiancee is jilting him.

END

*Not that you would know who anyone is at this point